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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| Dear Chef Brian,
Why do girls have boobs? Sincerely, Several Slightly Disturbed People CB - Well kids, it's simple as a tuna wrench. Girls make monkey pies with their heads to please the mighty pineapple gods of Kenya. If granted, they enforce a powerful black olive to reign supreme on all who oppose the laws of a thumbtack. Those that survive get chicken winged plumes, or boobs. Good pie indeed.
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| Chef Brian Says
Dear Chef Brian,
Will there ever be a grand war between ninjas and pirates?
Sincerely,
Tommy from Iowa
Tommy, ninjas and pirates are funny
potatoes. If they were ever to meet, there would be a massive
grater and a sponge between all that is gooey. Should this
happen, I recommend you stir vigorously until the eggplant melts onto
your shoe. Then fill your house with cake. You'll never be
delicious again!
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| Chef Brian Says
Dear Chef Brian,
Why is there a hole in the ozone layer?
Sincerely,
Jimmy from Maryland
Well Jimmy, cheese fries make naughty
crackers. When this happens, you must watch the infinate sea of
oysters overcome the sheer power of an incredible ocelot. The
otters have chosen to be the protectors so may napalm explode in your
sock.
Forks.
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